Short and Cracky
by Warp Ligia Obscura
Summary: Getting in on the shorts craze. May contain crack. Rated just in case. Content and pairings, if applicable, will vary. Chapter 3: Newcomer's Confusion. Reinforce/Yuuno
1. Material Aspirations

SHORT AND CRACKY

Authored by Warp Ligia Obscura

Disclaimer: The _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha_ original concept does not belong to me, as do any of the characters and concepts not mine. Concepts and characters variably registered in Japan, the United States of America and other countries around the world. Used without official permission. No challenge to their status intended. All Rights Reserved to their respective owners. This is a work of fiction. Any real-world events, locations, organisations or persons cited are used fictitiously for parody or satire purposes and strictly not to be taken as a proper reflection of their actual self.

**Originally posted: 08 June 2010**

**Content: Materials/Yuuno**

_Material Aspirations_

"Seikou! Seikou! Where have you been? You've been out the whole night!" Material-L squealed as Material-S closed the door behind her and put her shoes on the shoe rack.

With all the dullness of eating an insipid meal, Material-S lifted her skirt. "I prevailed on Yuuno Scrya to copulate with me."

Material-L stared for a long while, trying to figure out what Material-S had just said, then jumped in surprise. "Seikou, you... you... you..."

Material-S did not bat an eyelid. "I fail to see what is so surprising."

"Congratulations, sister of ours!" Material-D said, clapping. Joy was written all over her face, although there was something off about her expression. "How was it?"

"It was... physically pleasant." Material-S freed one hand to rub her chin. "I do not understand why Nanoha does not seek this union. It is mutually beneficial."

''Why ask such things, Seikou? Their loss is our gain! Take us along the next time you, uh, visit him!" Material-L clasped her hands together and squealed, her eyes seemingly sparkling.

"Well said, our sister," Material-D said, firmly squeezing Material-L's shoulder. "We shall free Scrya of whatever regrets he may have for failing to claim Takamachi, Testarossa and Yagami."

=Damn-section-splitting=

A/N: I decided to get in on the shorts craze.

You can look up my intended interpretation in the AnimeSuki thread. Post 3084941.


	2. Death of a Nobody

_Death of a Nobody_

**Originally posted: 17 June 2010**

**Content: No Pairings, Death/Tomato Surprise**

Mr. Gecinre Nodentcrips repressed a sigh as he looked at the open grave the pallbearers were lowering a coffin into. As a minor official, part of his portfolio was the duty of being present at paupers' funerals.

How many of these had he been at already? Gecinre had not kept track after the tenth, but he estimated that he was nearing the 50-mark. Although Mid-Childa liked to present itself as a picture of prosperity, it was an inconvenient truth that it still had a small share of homeless bums/tramps despite the various welfare initiatives put in place to try and solve the problem. Not known to or unclaimed by family when they passed on as all inevitably would, it fell on the state to provide them with a final resting place. This was an entitlement also extended to those who died anonymously.

Gecinre did not struggle to maintain a neutral expression, but let a few tears escape him. It never got any easier to attend these funerals, even though he had been to so many and had never known any of the deceased personally. He knew his friends called him a bleeding heart sometimes and it was not a description he attempted to deny. No one should have to die alone, unmourned, unremembered except as an impersonal part of the Ministry of Home Affairs' records, to be filed away and forgotten by the bureaucratic monolith.

Gecinre remembered that the state coroner had taken particular interest in this case. When the body had come in, discovered by a good citizen in some alleyway, it had just two knife wounds. One had gone through the spinal cord, ensuring paralysis, while the other, slightly newer one started at the bottom of the head, between the jawbone and Adam's Apple and went up into the brain. It appeared that the first wound had been left to bleed out for a while before the second had been delivered. The precision of the murder spoke of a professionalism that had the police worried, but the victim's body had already been left to rot some days before its discovery and no leads could be found. As a result, despite the regrets of all involved in the investigation, the murder had been cold-cased. The funeral arrangements were simple and inelegant; a washing and dressing of the dead man, short last rites by a representative of the Belkan Saint Church, a mass-produced coffin. Fortunately, there was more than enough left to learn the victim's identity through the government records.

After the gravedigger finished shovelling earth to fill the grave and smoothing out the earth over the coffin, Gecinre reverentially dropped to his knees to leave a white chrysanthemum on the grave. The gesture was not officially funded by the government, but he felt that the deceased deserved at least that much and had contributed one to all whose funeral rites he had witnessed. After he stood back up, he touched his fingers to his right brow and held the half-salute for a few seconds before backing away and turning to leave the cemetery grounds.

Behind him, the simple tombstone read "Yuuno Scrya".

=Damn-section-splitting=

A/N: Gecinre's name is an anagram. I hope you can solve it!

I know we do not see much of the TSAB's full machinations, but I ran on the assumption that it, like many other RL governments, would have such a service.

Extra notes, including the solution to the anagram, can be found in the AnimeSuki thread, posts 3095415 and 3097775.


	3. Newcomer's Confusion

_Newcomer's Confusion_

**Originally posted: 05 January 2012**

**Content: Reinforce/Yuuno**

Aris Faridah binte Abdul Karim's eyes widened in confusion.

There was a bobbing headful of long, luscious silvery white hair approaching, but beyond a black-clad shoulder she could see the half-concealed face of a green-eyed blond.

"Yes, the boss carries his wife everywhere they go. Don't stare, it's rude," her supervisor, Marcela Martinez, suddenly said.

It was too late. The bizarre thing locked onto them and strode over purposefully.

As it approached, Aris finally figured out what she was looking at. The blond was a young male dressed in enough green for a forest, and the silver hair belonged to a woman that was... hanging from his front by her limbs?

"Marcela, how is the progress on Ilos?"

The voice only added to Aris's confusion. It did not sound right, but she could not pin down why.

"There's a problem with Mu-R, Chief. I was going to tell you today. I think I'll need to work with Herakir and the Remivir team to resolve it."

"Please do so." Again with the weird voice. The man rounded on her abruptly, then the woman detached her right arm from its grip on him, turning to face her in a manner that should have had the man wobbling while trying to maintain his balance, and they offered their right hands to her. Aris saw that the woman had vaguely upsetting red eyes set in a face of mature beauty. "You must be... Aris Faridah binte Abdul Karim, our newest member?"

"Uhh..." Aris looked between the two hands, trying to figure out which to take first, before taking the woman's. "Yes, uhh, sir... ma'am?"

"Dr.s Yuuno and Reinforce Scrya at your service, but you may call us Chief if your gender constructs are confused," they said, and it finally clicked for Aris why the voice was so weird. It was not one, it was two in perfect synch, albeit one a Mid-Childan male's and the other a female's tinged with the accent of an archaic Belkan flavour. "We shall see you at 1400 today in our office." They must have seen Aris's body tensing up, for they proceeded to say, "Please do not worry. We always make it a point to speak with all our new hires." They paused before saying, "Also, Marcela, please try not to scare her too badly." The woman cheerily waved goodbye before replacing her right arm around the man and resettling her chin on his shoulder, after which the man walked off.

Aris turned to look at Marcela, bewilderment ever more plain on her face.

"What?"


End file.
